| tonight is the night to let it go. |
[Nov. 1st, 2009|06:51 pm] |
exams are coming in approximately 8 days time and i have a gender studies final year essay to hand in TOMORROW and i have been watching movies all afternoon.OH MY GOSH.
you are just plain awesome steffi.lets just wait till you fail your exams and get trashed about by your parents when you return to sunny singapore.you will be so damn screwed.i emphasize.DAMN SCREWED.dont play with fire.it hurts.
i am going to shower now so i dont waste time writing my essay later.argh.
i miss singapore.i miss my family.i miss my TRUE friends.yes,those fake-os can go away now.scram.
most importantly,i miss bowling.i miss it so much.OHHHH )): DAMN IT.
i feel so detached from everything i used to stand for.i used to have you as the center of my world and then you walked away.i used to have bowling to help numb my pain of losing you but then i left it behind cause i needed a brand new start in life(henceforth,here i am rotting in aussie.) i used to have friends that i thought i could trust all my life but then i was wrong.terribly wrong.the only person i can trust in this whole damn world populated with billions of people,i can only trust myself.one out of dont know how many billions of people.now the fraction/value is bloody pathetic.
shame on you.shame shame on you.
vulnerable and trusting hearts.something that some people would die to possess,the world treats it like dirt.its not even worth 50 cents.
no matter what i say,you will never trust me.no matter how many times i say it,you wouldnt believe me.so i wouldnt even bother saying it anymore.its the issue with you and now you.oh great,i told you my relationships are never simple,have i? my relationships are as screwed up as how you have said that of me.
so yes,i wish you well.i hope you are happy.
oh god.i realised.
i still miss you.
whats new?
i just wanna be in love like how jack and rose fell madly in love on titantic.i want to give up my immortality like what hercules did for meg.i want to just love,like any human do.isnt love a right for humans? i just want to love someone with all my heart.someone who kisses me and takes my breath away.someone i can hold close at night.someone i can laugh and cry with.someone who doesnt mind the ugly me.someone who accepts my flaws and say " GOD,SHE IS SO PERFECT".
love is so damn over-rated.i am afraid to fall in love but i wanna be in love.
you are ironic.stop dreaming and get out of the illusion and get back to freaking earth.
i am back to earth now.there is simply no such thing as true love.
oh god,that realisation hurts. |
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| Comments: |
hugs, emperor!
i'm sure there IS such a thing as true love...or love that is worth it, as least. you shouldn't give up on hoping for it so soon!
i guess i'm of the philosophy that things happen when you least expect it, so maybe, you will find your true love SOMEDAY, just that it'll be when you least expect it. | |
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